People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has threatened Gordon Ramsay with an ‘ancient curse’ if he doesn’t take octopuses off his menus.
The animal rights organisation has hit out at the celebrity chef in the past, and now they’ve sent a letter to the 55-year-old chef, warning that he is putting himself and diners at risk of an ‘ancient curse’ by serving octopus in his restaurants.
The apparent ‘octocurse’ is said to ‘slowly turn any human who kills, cooks, or consumes octopuses into a cephalopod’ – i.e. a tentacley, marine mollusc, like an octopus.
In the letter to Ramsay, PETA said: “Octopuses are hyper-intelligent animals capable of complex thought processes: they can navigate mazes, use tools, and learn how to do such things as unscrew lids simply by watching.
“They are masters of disguise, they decorate their homes as we do, and they have excellent memories.
“They are also extremely sensitive to pain. In fact, because octopuses’ brains are distributed throughout their bodies, the terror and pain they experience at being sliced up alive or speared to death, common methods of killing these animals, is almost unimaginable.
“Fortunately, dodging the curse is simple: take octopuses off your menus for good and pledge never, ever to eat these clever cephalopods.”
In a supporting video, PETA said that – given the aforementioned intelligence of octopuses – anyone who eats them is ‘basically a cannibal’.
By PETA’s definition then, Ramsay is most definitely a cannibal, given that in an episode of The F Word, he caught an octopus and killed it – by biting into its head.
As such, it’s doubtful that the famous chef will be perturbed by the apparent curse, particularly seeing as he would surely have been afflicted by it after chomping into the noggin of a live octopus.
Still, PETA is hopeful that Ramsay – and everyone else, in fact – will swerve octopus and go vegan.
“If Gordon Ramsay could make decisions with his heart instead of his bottomless stomach, he’d admit that carving up these highly intelligent, sensitive beings is cruel and unnecessary,” PETA vice president of programmes, Elisa Allen, told LADbible in a statement.
“As Halloween approaches, PETA is warning Ramsay and people everywhere to change course to vegan eating or suffer the ‘octocurse’.”
Ramsay’s representatives have declined LADbible’s request for comment.